As a natural science shop that specializes in taxidermy, pet memorials, and ethically sourced specimens, we (and the artists we work with) tend to talk about archetypes that embody Radical Acceptance on a regular basis. Santa Muerte helps us engage the idea of change that we have no control over directly; Persephone reminds us to find comfort in cycles and rebirth. Radical acceptance, not struggling against that which we can’t (or are choosing not to) change. Sometimes this radical acceptance is excruciating and takes constant conscious effort… other times it just flows in and makes sense and the radical acceptance becomes more like surfing; catching the right moment as it presents itself. The Oracle crew decided to share our personal engagement with Radical Acceptance as we’re experiencing it right now and some of the things we’ve found to be helpful.
Alessandra: Radical Acceptance is hard as I am my own worst critic - focusing on not getting down on myself on how much I haven't accomplished and focus on how much I have. I embrace my analytical mind with lists and journaling... as days merge into each other and I can quickly forget what I did even two seconds ago, forgetting even the happiness I got to experience within it.
Suggested Practice: Keep a journal. It doesn’t have to be pretty or even organized. But making note of those things that have done as well as the things that are joyful can help remind us of how much we’re dealing with and how we are growing.
Laura: Remembering to extend grace to myself for not being 100% has been important. Some loved ones have been struggling with strong depression and anxiety attacks (triggered by grief during the current crisis) and dealing with the episodes as they come up often means losing one-to-three hours here and there; frequently entire days are lost to the process of re-centering. I have had to try to let go of my frustration about the larger situation causing so much heartache. My own recovery afterwards also keeps me moving slower than I used to. (Compiling and posting this blog took me three days longer than I intended…) And on the really tough days sometimes the only thing I have been able to do is light candles. It’s a simple activity that I can focus on. Candle ritual helps me redirect the feelings of frustration and grief into feelings of compassion and thinking forward about making (what I can) better.
Suggested Practice: Choose a calming oil or blend to rub lightly on a small candle, set an intention for yourself, those you love, and all beings to be safe, healthy, and happy. Seal in the oil by dripping melted wax from another candle over the first candle. Light your candle, sit with it as it burns.
Quinn: I am grieving all my best-laid plans. Nothing is the way I envisioned it and I am sad and angry and overwhelmed by it all. The most essential practice for me is acknowledging and fully stepping into what I’m feeling. We all grieve in our own ways, in our own time.
Suggested Practice: In a safe and private space, say out loud anything that you are grieving the loss of. Don’t dismiss small or seemingly inconsequential things. Give voice to what you are feeling. Invite those emotions to be present, let them say what they want to say.
Alessandra: When exterior pressures do arrive, I try to face them with compassion; remembering that each of us is struggling through things differently and through different traumas. Holding space for each other is often all we need in the end. But we all have to remember that we can't do it all and holding space for ourselves should come first (telling that to myself as well). Santa Muerte teaches me constantly. She guides me towards more compassion. She helps me with the constant reminder of acceptance. I burn a candle to her not only to help me but for her to help everyone as well. Helping everyone towards accepting those old bruises and scars. Accepting that they aren't who we are, but that we can grow and learn from them. And just like the Death card in Tarot, thanking the journey for allowing us to grow from it and move on to greater things.
Suggested Practice: Light a candle to an archetype that embodies Radical Acceptance to you. (For us at Oracle Santa Muerte has been a beneficial choice.) Place the candle somewhere visible and special where it has its own space. Light the candle while making note (silently or outloud) of what this archetype can show you about how to deal with your present circumstances.
Grief Spell Jar
Quinn: In our society, we are encouraged to move on and bottle it up or even embrace the all-tempting “let it go” mentality. And that’s all fine, but eventually it has to be seen. I think that honoring what we want to reject and suppress is how we can begin to accept it. I want to evolve past what I planned and hoped for so that I can step into something new, more powerful and aligned with my current reality. So I made a spell jar to support me in my efforts.
Suggested Practice: Make a spell jar for grief. Gather a small vial or jar, a small piece of paper, and any of the following correspondences that speak to you:
Herbs: Lavender for relief from mental and emotional stress, Rosemary for protection, Rose petals for connection to Goddess energy and grounding, Basil for courage
Crystals: any Quartz variety but especially Rutilated Quartz for manifestation or Rose Quartz because of its ability to align us with our heart’s desire, Emerald to activate the heart chakra, Obsidian to encourage release, Tangerine Quartz to support the sacral chakra
Salt for cleansing, Dirt for grounding, Cinnamon for peace and luck
On your small piece of paper write down your vision for how you want to live and feel every day. Remember, Spirit sometimes has even bigger plans than we can imagine, so save some room for that in your heart. Roll the paper into a scroll and place it in the vial.
As you fill the vial with your chosen correspondences allow yourself to experience and move any energy that feels like it remains unacknowledged. Do not judge yourself, just go through the emotions and fill your jar until you feel it is complete. Shake the jar up. Shake yourself up: jump, bounce, wave your arms. Hold the vial in your hands and say to yourself: This vial is the embodiment of the transformation taking place inside me. I honor my grief. I commit even more to myself than ever before. I have set in motion miraculous outcomes.
Close the experience with a moment of gratitude for your guides and for yourself. Place the vial somewhere that you will see it every day. Spend time with it in meditation. When you feel the time is right, bury the contents of the vial in the Earth as an offering for her support.
Laura: I also am trying to make a conscious effort to include acceptance and acknowledgement of the things that I am enjoying, things that are going well, that are actually improvements in some way; to embrace that there can be good things that come with such monumental change and loss; to not feel guilty for having some things that are ok after all. Expanding my concept of Radical Acceptance to include gratitude for this healing and beauty that may not look anything like I anticipated it to be.
We three hope that you are all safe and well. We understand that so many are experiencing truly difficult and challenging change and the impact effects us all in a myriad of ways. So choose what is useful for you and let us know what Oracle can offer to support your practice.